The Perfect Candidate for PPD

I was recently looking for other blogs about PPD and came across this article:


It turns out that a recent study has shown that perfectionists are at a higher risk for PPD.  The scary thing is they are "perfect" at hiding the fact that they aren't feeling so well. 

What I wish I would have been told is the following (quoted from the article):

"I think it's just important for new mothers and fathers to just realize, Hey, you haven't got a lot of experience with this, you don't need to be perfect, you don't need to be absolutely the best parent in the world," Flett said. "You need to just be able to experience the role, do your best, and your best is good enough."

The fact is, growing up I was with kids a lot.  I babysat all the time and always watched out for the kids on my bus.  I lived with my niece for two years and spent a lot of time with her.  I worked in a daycare in high school, and taught preschool, kindergarten, and 3rd grade.  So when I was having feelings of failure, I didn't want to admit it.  I didn't want people to know that I couldn't handle being a mom.  When I finally told my mom I couldn't do it she said, "What do you mean you aren't cut out to be a mom?  You've been around kids your whole life."

Being a mother is NOTHING like being a babysitter or teacher.  NOTHING.  That is something moms aren't honest about or just don't tell expecting parents. 

The saddest part from the article:

"This tendency to put on this front usually means that people don't tell other people when they're doing badly, so somebody might not know that a young women is having difficulty; they might have no clue whatsoever," Flett said. "And there's sadly some cases where the family says 'We thought everything was fine,' and the next thing we know, the person is no longer with us," he said.

Please new moms, don't let your family be the ones saying this!

1 comment:

  1. As I said before, I have no idea what it is like to be a mother because I am not one. I have openly admitted to myself that I am not ready to be a mother. I don't know when I will be, if ever. With that said, I must say that any big life transition is a big ordeal for me as a perfectionist. Sometimes I would wonder to myself, "Why can't I take change like a "normal" person? Why can't I just accept unperfect things in my mind of perfection? Why am I so afraid of failing when things aren't perfect?" Although my family and friends were/are there for me when I need them most, I only tell those who are close to me about my anxiety issues and even then do I downplay it like it is no big deal. I think it has to do with my idea of being perfect and not letting people know of my weaknesses and imperfections. I think the biggest help for me, especially during my rough patch and diagnosis, was my therapist. I had a neutral someone who I could talk to without judging me. Someone who was rooting for me then whole way through my recovery. During the really dark days of it, I truly looked forward to talking to my therapist. He still looked at me like I was "normal" and made me feel like I can do something about these feelings that just take over my mind. Coincidentally, it has been at least 1 1/2 years since I have seen/talked to him and I just recently e-mailed him thanking him for all his help and encouragement. Without him, in addition to my friends and family, I wouldn't be the person I am today.