Busy mom-meal planning and grocery shopping

Before I go grocery shopping, I always make a list of what I need in a word document.  Then off to the side of the document I insert a text box and write each day of the week in it.  As I plan my meals (either using Pinterest, asking Goose what she wants, looking on allrecipes.com, etc) I check to see what I need.  Then my list and meals for the week are all together.  I also make sure what I'm making supplies leftovers-as Goose AND myself need lunch for the next day.

Some typical meals around here include

• Pasta and garlic bread
• Kielbasa and fried potatoes
• Kielbasa and potato/onion pierogies
• Boneless/skinless chicken and a pasta side (mac/cheese, garlic noodles, butter noodles) or potato side (mashed or garlic/lemon)
• Egg salad
• Soups (spinach tortellini, potato/broccoli, taco, hamburger)
• Tacos
• Chili
• Pancakes/sausage
• Egg in a hole
• Turkey sandwiches
• Hamburgers and fries
• Homemade sloppy joes
• Nacho bake
• Cheeseburger pie
• Meatballs

Luckily, my husband comes with me to help grocery shop and lately I've been putting the items on the list in order according to the aisle they are in.  This really helps make our trip quick. 

Busy mom-easy feeding

Being a mom is difficult.  When you are working and/or in school as well, it's even MORE difficult!

I'm going to start dedicating some posts to how I make things less stressful around the house and work (and go to grad school).  Hopefully these tips can help you as you venture back to work.

Feeding

1. When Goose was little, and still on the bottle only, I made sure that every night her bottles were washed and dried.  I would then make enough bottles for daycare and put them in the fridge for the next day.  At night I would premeasure the formula in dry bottles.  If and when she woke up, all I had to do was add water.

2. When Goose got older, I brought an extra sippy cup to leave at her DCP's house.  That way I don't have to remember one each day.  I try my best to pack her lunch the night before, usually lunch leftovers.

3. Now that Goose is becoming more independent, she has her own storage container in the fridge.  She is free to take something almost at any time.  I just used a regular plastic bin from the Dollar Tree (shoe box size) and fill it with healthy snacks that she can easily get herself.  Some things I put in it include cheese, yogurt, applesauce, cherry tomatoes (in smaller storage containers), cut up fruit (in smaller storage containers), etc.  I also put spoons in the bin in case she picks yogurt or applesauce.

4. Meal plan!  This way I can see what leftovers I'll have for lunches.

What They Don't Tell You

Here are some things no one ever told me about pregnancy and childbirth. 

1.  Morning sickness can last all day for 40 weeks.  The sight, smell, and thought of food will make you sick.  Even after the baby comes, there will be some foods you can no longer stand the sight or smell of.

2.  You will never forget the first time you feel your baby move.  And it doesn't feel like gas at all.

3.  Odd things can happen to your body without reason.  I had a rash all over my legs that had no cause (other than being pregnant).  I got nose bleeds when I never had them before. 

4.  You think gaining weight won't bother you.  Wait until you start gaining and it will. 

5.  Near the end you will be so over the pregnancy.  You will be fat, tired, in pain, uncomfortable, and tired (did I mention that already?). You won't be able to sleep.  People telling you to "get used to the lack of sleep" will annoy you.  You will want to slap them.

6.  Contractions aren't that bad.  I went a long time without pain meds and the worst part was the contractions were coming so quickly I couldn't get any sleep.  The lack of sleep is what did me in.

7.  Having an epi will cause you to lose control of bodily functions.  Labor causes you to be very gassy.  If you haven't passed gas in front of your husband yet, you may want to start so you aren't embarassed while in labor.

8.  You will form a strong bond with the nurse in charge of you.  I cried when mine had to go home for the night when I was in active labor.

9.  You may not want a c-section, but won't care once you know your baby is in danger.  Just get the child out!

10.  Being on IVs for so long will make you swell up like Shrek. 

11.  You may not have an instant bond with the baby-you may wonder if the baby even likes you.

12.  Your marriage will be forever changed.

13.  Breastfeeding is not natural or easy-it's a learning process

14.  You suddenly become emotional over everything and understand why your mom cried when you graduated kindergarten.

15.  There isn't anything in the world that can prepare you for the job of being a mother.  You can read all the books, talk to millions of moms, but nothing will prepare you for the incredible task ahead.

Daycare

We were lucky enough to find an amazing woman to watch over DD.  She lives on the same street as us and runs an in home daycare (licensed and everything).

Her children went to the school that I teach and some of her charges are children who attend my school.  She was recommended to me and I was glad to get in with her (as she only takes one baby at a time).

The first few times I left her there happened the week before I returned to work.  DH was out of town and I thought it would be a good trial run for her, me, and DCP.  The first time I left her I came home to shower and say goodbye to DH.  What I didn't tell anyone was I cried in the shower. 

My principal (who doesn't have any of her own children) always asks me "Isn't it hard to leave DDeveryday?"  I always lie and say, "Yes, it is".  Why is it a lie?  Because it really isn't that hard!

Now before you think I'm terrible for saying this, someday you will understand. 

When I pick DD up from daycare she is either sleeping or in DCP's arms.  She is happy, she is fed, and I know she is loved.  DD having others who love and care for her is important to me.  I want her to grow up knowing that non-family members can care for her and love her too.  She needs to realize that mom and dad will always be there for her, but plenty of others care for her safety, her well-being, and her future. 

I don't want her dad and me to be the ONLY adults she trusts.

DCP has a heart of gold and I believe she really is an angel sent to us from God.  So no, it isn't hard to leave DD with someone who loves her almost as much as I do!

The Moment Most Moms Dread

Returning to work!

The weekend before returning to work was rough.  I cried a lot.  I felt horrible.  I felt like most of my leave was spent being angry at myself and DD.  I wasted a huge amount of time with her.  But, I had to go back.  There was no avoiding it.

I'm a teacher.  I teach 3rd grade at a Catholic school.  The thought of being a stay at home mom (SAHM) never crossed my mind before.  I worked hard to become a teacher and plenty of money was invested in my teaching certificate (thanks to my brother and SIL).  It was hard to find a job and I love teaching.  So the fact that I was so upset over it surprised me.  New mom, you think you'll want to go back to work, but when that moment comes, you will cry.  So prepare yourself.

I respect moms who decide to stay home.  Being home 24/7 is a HARD job.  Now that I'm back to work and in the swing of things, I'm happy to be working.  That doesn't mean I don't love my baby.  I love her to death, but there is something to be said about getting alone time, speaking to other adults, and getting out of the house.  There is also something to be said about contributing to my family and helping to pay the bills. 

I like having my own money.  I like to shop.  I like to buy things for DD.  Working means I can do these things and so much for her. 

I don't want DD to grow up the way I did.  I love my mom and she tried her best, but I never got to do anything when I was little.  No dance classes, no swim classes, no nothing!  If it weren't for my brother, I'd have nothing growing up.  He always gave me the things I wanted and if it weren't for him (and his awesome wife) I wouldn't have been able to go to school. 

So new moms, don't feel badly about having to work!  Working, being a wife, being a mom, and being a housekeeper/cook is TOUGH.  I believe that it is important for children to see women contributing to their family other than just in the home (and that's hard enough!) 

Does DD deserve to have a SAHM? Yes, she does.  But she also deserves to take fun classes outside of school, to go on amazing trips that she will always cherish, and she certainly deserves to go to college. 

I always aspire to be like my SIL.  She looks fantastic, has a great house, works full time, and takes care of three beautiful girls.  Three beautiful SMART girls who have fulfilling lives thanks to the hard work she and my brother put in!  I am certain when they grow up they will look back at their childhood and see how blessed they have been!

So working moms, do your thing!  Don't EVER feel like less of a mom because you have decided to work!

Zoloft and some advice

The hardest part of being a new mom is being responsible for yourself, your home, and your new baby.  Babies cannot do anything on their own.  And they don't sleep as much as the books say.  At least DD didn't. 

People weren't making it any better.  They were making me feel like I didn't know how to take care of my own child.  I have plenty of experience with kids.  I'm a teacher!  I lived with my niece for two years!  I baby sat forever!  But having your OWN child is NOTHING like caring for other children.  Don't let it fool you like it did me.

Around the time I started Zoloft for postpartum depression, DD started meds for acid reflux and I started to give up on breastfeeding.  I was only pumping a couple ounces a time, and we couldn't get DD to latch.  I decided that formula isn't as awful as everyone says.  My baby was being fed, was happy (finally), and was gaining weight and growing. 

One piece of advice I will offer to new moms is don't freak out if you can't breastfeed.  And don't tell yourself when you are pregnant that you won't freak.  Because you will.  I told myself it would be fine if it didn't work, but when it wasn't working my depression set in.  That is when I started to feel like a big failure. 

Just remember, mom being happy is important.  If YOU aren't happy then you can't be the best mom you can be.  Forget those who preach the goodness of breastmilk.  Yes, it's good and great, but there are plenty of happy successful people in this world (and smart) who were fed formula.  I don't want to toot my own horn, but I am one of them.  And so are my brothers. 

So if you can't breastfeed mom, don't worry.  Your baby will be fine (I promise).  And to those of you who look down on formula feeders for being "lazy"... Shame on you.  Moms should have a pact and be there as a support system regardless.  Shame on you and I pray that you never have any issues feeding your child. 

And moms to be, please promise yourself that you will NEVER judge the decisions other mothers make (unless they are beating their children or something awful like that).

P.S. Did you know that formula is the most regulated "foods" there is?  And those of you who hate formula but eat meat, maybe you need to do some research on what you are putting into your body.  Just saying...

And the PRESSURE Begins!!!

One thing you are never prepared for is the amount of pressure placed on new mothers.  After having DD I remember telling a good friend (who was expecting in October) that I will never be one of those moms who gives unwanted advice or makes a mother feel less of a mother.

Right away there was pressure to be supermom.  To breastfeed, to have a baby on a schedule, to be a great wife, to keep the house clean, etc. 

DD wasn't an easy newborn (not that newborns are easy).  But as I sat in my bed with her, struggling to feed her, an odd feeling started to creep up on me.

I began to think of ending my life.  As I type this, I can't believe I felt that way.  I looked at this angry and demanding baby and thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life.  I thought it would be so much easier to not be here anymore and that DD would be better off with a new mom.

I also started to think I wasn't cut out for motherhood.  That DD should be given up for adoption.  I, a normally patient person, couldn't handle it. 

I didn't say anything to anyone.  I let my feelings of failure (due to breastfeeding) and death take over me.  I was angry and sad.  I missed my old life.  I hated my new life, hated my baby, and hated myself for feeling that way.

At my two week appointment to check on my incision I said something to my concerned doctor who said to keep an eye on it for a couple more weeeks.

Like clockwork she called me about a week later.  When I told her I wasn't bonding with the baby and was still angry she suggested medication.

She has arrived!

After a terrible pregnancy, a terrible 48 hours of labor, and a c-section (that wasn't so terrible), DD came into this world.

She was stubborn from the start and looked just like daddy (still does). 

We were so excited to go home!

The Rest of the Pregnancy

The next few months went by so quickly.  To say pregnancy was easy is a lie.  It was awful.  I felt like crap the entire time, had a terrible rash all over my legs, and couldn't even talk about food without gagging or throwing up.

When I found out it was a girl, I was beyond excited.  Everyone wants a healthy baby, but I knew deep down I wanted a healthy GIRL baby. 

A mini-me if you will!

In the Begining

It all started a year ago.  I started feeling run down, out of breath, and out of sorts.  I remember Christmas shopping for my husband and being so winded at the check out lane.  I was still winded when I came home.  I was starting to think my childhood asthma was acting up.

A few days later I was starting to gag at nothing.  One morning I woke up and everything I tried to eat for breakfast tasted stale.  It was later that day that it dawned on me...maybe I was pregnant.

Sure enough, the test came up positive right away.  I remember showing my husband and he and I both not believing it.  We went to get a digital to test again and that came back "pregnant" right away.

That is when the nerves set in!  I began to stop praying for a baby and started praying for the baby (if that makes sense).

I called the doctor the next day and had an appointment for the following week for a dating ultrasound and to meet with the people who would be taking care of me for the next 35 weeks.